Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."

The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out.

"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"

"To tell the the truth," he replied, "he seemed a little depressed to me."

YOU KNOW YOU'RE MEXICAN IF...


- Your family throws a party when you get your GED
- You consider a pickup as a form of public transportation
- You leave family weddings early to avoid the police who always showing up uninvited
- You've eaten chorizo all your life and still aren't sure what’s in it
- Your cousin is considered a high achiever because she waited until she was a Junior before she had her first kid
- Your family has their own wing at the county jail
- If your car were any lower it would be a submarine
- You have more 502s than 501s
- You meet a girl at a nightclub and you have to ask her questions to be sure she's not related
- Your idea of lawn furniture is a couch
- You help your mom with the groceries by pushing the shopping cart home for her
- Your brother calls himself an artist because he draws unemployment
- Your uncles gave up beer for Lent and Budweiser had to lay off 200 people
- All your aunts and uncles first names rhyme
- You've ever eaten peanut butter and jelly on a tortilla
- You feel naked unless you have a knife and a pair of jumper cables in arms reach
- You've ever shared a car with 12 other people
- You need a permit for a family reunion
- Your white friends speak better Spanish than you
- You think Taco Bell is a phone company

Q: Why don't Mexicans like blowjobs?
A: They're afraid they'll lose their welfare benefits.

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

"Darling," seductively sighed the fashion model, "if I didn't wear all these beautiful clothes, would you still think me attractive?"

He smiled and replied, "Test me."

Do you suppose the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, "If you build it, they will come."

A woman was walking along pushing her newborn baby in the carriage when an old friend approached her. The friend leaned over, peering into the carriage said, "What a beautiful baby boy, and he looks just like his father."

"I know.", replied the woman, "I just wish he looked more like my husband!"

A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window ... "Uh, yes, officer?"

"What are you doing ?" "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine, sir " Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening!

"What's your age, young man ?" "I'm 25, sir." "And her ... what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

A new, inexperienced waitress said she was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them. A co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant.

The nervous beginner served all her lunches successfully and afterward asked an elderly couple if everything had been all right.

"It was fine, dear," replied the man, "but my wife and I have to leave now. Could she please have her walker back?"